Do You Care Too Much About What Other People Think?

Have you heard the saying, “It’s more important to care about how you feel than to care about what other people think?”  Think about that for a minute – caring about your own feelings – more than what other people think about you or what you are doing.  Wow.  What a notion!

It’s really a simple concept, but it sure takes some practice to live.  Let’s face it, many societal and religious messages would encourage us to be self-less – putting everyone else’s feelings and needs before our own.  Those who believe this is the appropriate way to live life would certainly balk at the idea of caring about one’s own feelings most.  In fact, they would likely consider this idea as unbelievably selfish.  But let’s break this down for a moment and consider why caring more about how you feel could actually be a positive way to approach life and have positive implications for yourself – and for those around you.

Over the years I’ve become increasingly interested in metaphysical and spiritual topics.  And as I’ve studied these things, it’s really changed what I talk about and how I am with my friends and family.  And boy have some people reacted.  Some “friends” have teased me and referred to me as “out there.”  Others have looked at me with confusion, struggling to understand my point of view or philosophy.  And some people have gone away, moving forward on their path, and me happily moving along mine.

It’s been really an interesting journey for me.  Sometimes even painful.  I’ve felt that internal struggle to be myself and speak my truth and know that it’s really part of my divine path – and an important part of my journey here at “Earth School.”  Even saying these words to people have provoked strange looks.  I can remember recently saying the words “Earth School” to someone and their jaw hit the floor.

I chuckled silently at how this new concept floored my friend.  I could have reacted with feelings of shame like I shouldn’t have shared this concept with this person.  It certainly was how I was taught to be as a kid.  I was taught that it was important to fit in – and very much care about what other people thought.  Had my family been there for that “Earth School” conversation, I would have been reprimanded for saying something that made another feel “uncomfortable.”  What a total crock!  There is nothing anyone could say now to make me think that I don’t deserve to believe whatever I want.

By speaking my truth, and feeling neutral about how other people will react, is not only my divine birthright – it’s how it can be for each of us.  Can you imagine what the world would be like if people felt the freedom to be completely who they are?  When we are comfortable in our own skin, and comfortable with our own beliefs – and okay with letting people react however they will – and not feeling upset about it – we can experience absolute joy and freedom.  We can’t possibly make everyone happy – so why even try?  Let’s focus on making ourselves happy.  And when we do that, we’re more available for authentic relationships that lift us up and focus on truth and love.  When we allow ourselves to be ourselves, we feel relaxed and happy and can more fully connect with our gifts to share in this world.  We become a better parent, friend, spouse and sibling.  Everything we do and share is elevated because we are living an authentic, happy life!

So how do we get to this place?  It takes commitment – and practice.  And letting go of the need for external validation.  It takes loving yourself and giving yourself your own version of positive validation.  When we look externally for approval from others, we short-change ourselves in a variety of ways.  We don’t need anyone to validate us – we can do it for ourselves.

Another important element of connecting with yourself, loving yourself and being yourself in the world is to connect with other like-minded people who really “get” you.  Not to validate you, but to easily, authentically connect with.  Hanging out with your own “tribe” is extremely valuable – and helps us relax into that best part of ourselves where our authentic personality can shine.

So won’t you commit to this fabulous way of living life?  Knowing who you are, what you believe in, loving yourself completely and feeling the freedom to be yourself is really is your choice and your birthright.  So go for it.  You deserve to be YOU!